serious shit.

Worrying news, WORRYING NEWS D:
Word from the holy land (mother) is that father has changed(?) to the extent that concerts/sleepovers/etc seems more and more out of reach. FUG>:( I swear, I am fucking worried now.
I mean of course I'm fucking excited to have them back.

In fact, the atmosphere in the house seems much lighter and happier in the light of their arrival this saturday.

But still, it is quite scary, will they be the same two people who left us about a month ago.
Mom seems the same (from the msgs) but apparently dad has undergone some sort of transformation. Obviously you'll change, I mean you would have HAD to change in some ways after going through a religious pilgrimage, but to what degree. Upon their arrival at the airport, the most obvious would be the physical manifestations of the effect of their near month long journey. Dad, completely botak. Beard (???). Mom, in her headscarf, which will forever change the clothes she wears. Believe you me, clothes are a facking huge difference. Yes, I am also aware of the irony in the frequent cuss words involved in a discussion of something religious. But I am freaking out. Seriously. It's not that I want them to be UNchanged. I do want the best for them. To discover Islam in a way that resounds so deeply within them that it forever and always will guide them in all paths they take to the best that God will provide for.

Yet, the selfish bitch in me may not be, ok, IS NOT at all ready for the repercussions of it onto myself. Especially after the obviously improper behaviour of mine in the period of which they've been away. Yes, obviously I know that this shit will cease once they come back. So it's not really about that. It's more, can I go back to something perhaps even more restrictive than what was before?! I will definitely feel the shackles come on heavier than they are should that be the case.
 Oh dear.
All this angst and worrying from sending out a simple sms to momzies asking to go for Paramore for the sister's sake. Damnit. Para-freaking-more. A mere one and a half hour thing. HTF am I gna ask for sleepovers and the shit. How. 22nd seems to be such a distant possibility now. I have a feeling I'm going to be missing out on A LOT more shit. How bad is it that I just want to spend time with my friends! Most of whom are not at all under any sort of restrictions (ohgosh, i hate this word. sounds so disgusting, like i'm a prisoner. which i'm not. I know. sigh). I guess that's what makes it hard. But I wouldn't trade any of them for the world or change anything I've done or what. So please, fret not darlings. Yes some will say this is the selfish bitch talking, but I see as a normal seventeen year old, begging for certain allowances to be made, crying out here.

Hahaha, ok, fine! That last drama mama line, kinda made me laugh a bit. But you get the point right!

*ok, i cant be fucking bothered to proofread this shit. edit at a later date. going back to math now. fugmylyfe.